I took the plane and although I was very afraid of all the changes I was making, I felt at every step a firmness and clarity that I had not felt for a long time. If you had asked me at that time what made me most excited to have returned to Spain I would have told you that language. While it is true that I speak correctly in English and French, receiving important letters or calls even in Dutch always caused me a lot of stress because I did not know what to do. Especially those letters that were related to the fees. Can you imagine having to make the income statement in Dutch? I am proud to say that I survived it, but I would never go through that situation again.

Returning to the line of time, with my return to Madrid, the preparations for my new chapter began and on top of it were Christmas; which means I was going to see many people and they would ask me and now what. Well, yes. The questions and answers he received and gave were as follows:

Have you come back to Spain to stay? Yes

For how long, forever? No, I've come but you have to live in the present, you never know (in this answer he received rare faces)

What are you gonna do now? I'm not sure, first I get to feel good (more weird faces)

You're gonna get a job at some school, right? No (more faces than those who disapprove of everything you feel you want)

The conversations ended with good... well, you'll tell us in a few months and everything will be fine. I knew they said it with a small mouth, but the call I still had inside was so strong that I couldn't see, or hear, the sabotage I could be receiving.

I know I'm always what you're doing.