There are days when you're tired and you don't listen. You're still forward. You buy the phrase from: I have to, I must, without me they can't move forward... but what happens to your energy when you keep stretching the gum? Your energy goes down, down, and a lot.

I don't tell you this because I've read it in some research or book about energy or self-knowledge. I tell you because I have experienced it in me, on numerous occasions. I don't know if you'll be mine, maybe you'll laugh and connect or think it's a little overstated. I'm the one who learns by repetition and if the blow is smooth, I don't know. I need a stronger one that will make me wake up, shake and change direction.

A few years ago, one of those blows appeared on every plane I could reach. I tell you all the characters I was carrying on:

• Professor of Primary School
• College Art Coordinator
• He taught extra-school Spanish for foreigners
• I was a male dance dancer 3 times a week.
• I was preparing a show with a group of dancers professionally.
• He helped an artist in his Gallery and helped me develop my love for art through the brush and colors
• He taught almost every weekend in other countries that wasn't where I lived.
• And in case I felt it was little, I got in to do some auditions as a soprano singer on a coral.

One day I went to get out of bed and fell to the ground. I was so scared because I thought, what happened? She wasn't asleep. I was awake sitting on the floor and not feeling my legs. With effort I managed to get back to bed and lay down. I started watching. At that time I knew nothing about meditation, Reiki, I had no recourse and no idea what was happening to me. I'll take a deep breath. I took the phone and I had to call school to tell you I couldn't go because I wasn't feeling well. I felt tired but nothing different than other days. I started to touch my legs to see if I felt them and yes, the only thing I couldn't stand.

Without knowing who to go to, I thought I'd call my neighbor who's a masseur and ask for her help. When I took the phone, I noticed that a cramp was going through my back and it shook my head. How awful! The cramp caused me to pull so hard on my neck that it was stuck to my side. I didn't know whether to laugh at the time or cry. I'll take a deep breath. I tried to calm down and called my neighbor.

When he showed up, I broke up laughing and crying. She with her eyes like dishes tried to relax me a little and already in the afternoon she came back to see me more closely and talk to me.

I was breaking all over the place. I'd been running from me, from my feelings, from my alarms, from wanting to stop, from wanting to prioritize me. My body was telling me enough. Take care of me or I'll break up. She, my neighbor, also made it clear to me; and that she didn't know half of what I did. You have to stop, have you tried giving yourself moments to do nothing? I laughed saying that doing nothing wasn't in my vocabulary. Then try it, he answered.

Little by little, I began to observe, what was it that was making me really happy at the time and what things drained my energy without recharging.

Do you want the points I left? What were the emotions and challenges I had to face? I'll tell you soon.

With love,

Irene 🌻